I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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