it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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