i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
