How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
