At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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