From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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