just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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