OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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