Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
