I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize