I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she looked like the before picture.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
