Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
