she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
