I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
