Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
