Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
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