Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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