I'm laying in your front yard are you home
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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