Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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