Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize