I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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