it wasn't lemon gatorade
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
