Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need water and some morals
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
