I'm lost and stupid without you.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
