I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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