i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
