I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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