ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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