Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
