Everything about him screamed your future.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
