my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
