Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
