So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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