YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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