Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize