Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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