Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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