don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
