no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
