Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
