You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize