my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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