well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
