I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize