the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
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