Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
