I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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