dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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