Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
