and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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