what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
