I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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