actually, I'm a sock model
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize