I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
